My depression looks like 

Sadness lots of it 

Emptiness 

Loneliness 

The need to be around people all the time or not at all

Dreading the years to come 

Jealousy

Envy of others happiness

Feeling like what you want will never happen

Feeling like it’s all going to waste 

Feels like a sickness 

Counseling won’t help

Medication is stigmatizing 

No one seems to understand 

Crying in the bathroom

Lots of crying 

Everyone thinks you’re okay

You look good

doing good in school 

Working 

Doing a lot 

Wanting death 

But not suicidal 

Knowing it can only come from yourself

But not doing anything about it

Seeking relief from people

Things 

Still no relief 

Not paying attention in meetings 

Seeing no real consequences

It doesn’t even matter 

Pushing people away 

Keep pushing 

Wanting them to stay

But you won’t say it

Weirdly wanting what’s best for yourself

Not settling 

Weirdly 

Sometimes not eating 

Feelings of throwing up 

Still not eating 

Questioning a lot 

What’s the point 

You can’t find happiness in marriage 

Or children

But it helps 

Mama said 

If only I was more religious 

Seeing no real consequences 

Not caring 

Is anyone of this real

Why does it hurt 

Eyes welling up with tears 

Crying where no one asks what’s wrong 

Tired of answering

Or responding 

Tired 

Becoming a robot

Do your daily functions

It’s all going to waste anyway 

But don’t let them say you didn’t 

What is not having depression like

Is happiness even possible 

Nothing matters anymore 

It’s all pointless 

I hope death takes me soon

I’m so tired 

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One thought on “My depression looks like 

  1. Try using Hemp Oil. While CBD is extracted from the hemp plant, it is not psychoactive. In fact, it is one of the best remedies for psychosis. It is equally effective in treating depression. Unlike the pharmaceutical medications for depression, hemp or CBD oil have few side effect

    Liked by 1 person

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