Please don’t tell anyone about this 

I don’t tell anyone that I turn on Quran in the car because it helps me feel less alone 

Less able to think, less able to feel 

I don’t tell anyone that I hold on to the last words as the reciter is nearing the end of the Surah 

Before I start to tear

And recite to God to reaffirm me

Whoever told you healing was good was lying 

It’s painful, it’s clutch my heart in one hand, hijab in the other 

It’s begging for healthy healing, it’s god please let this time be healthy healing

I am too concentrated on my prayer that I miss the car coming toward me 

I steer fast 

The Quran starts again 

“what does this mean, God?”

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