Part 4: he’s a pos 

Okay he’s not really a pos. I can’t force him to like me right? But what was I missing?? Anyway, I messaged him good morning, he responded. The conversation was really horrible, he seemed off, depressed, bored at work. It was just bad. I tried out my counseling skills. Nothing. He replied dryly and I just didn’t keep it going. I let it go. It was hard since we walked often and would pass by his store and see him but there was nothing I could do. Guys, I actually prayed for this guy on Laylat al qadr, which was weird cuz I didn’t even know him or care for him, he was just cute and close and my aunts loved him and I already pictured our future and kids (who was I??) but at that time I was just pressured by society and myself and felt that I was way older and didn’t deserve a good guy (thanks ma) so I was holding on and trying and lowering my standards to a guy who posts snaps with mannequins and ugh just goes to show that God didn’t let it happen because he wasn’t the one for me, I clearly deserved someone who was more intellectual and had more to do than take pictures of mannequins. I actually wasn’t interested in marriage, I wanted intimacy and closeness and a non-platonic love (just hold my hand!!) But 2 weeks later, 2 days before we were set to leave to Jordan 

*message from Ibby* 

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